


Lijah On Top

by Rakshi



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:09:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1949415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elijah does some reading and Sean reaps the benefit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lijah On Top

**Author's Note:**

> Awhile back pwsb panthael wrote a great Sean/Elijah story called 'NJOGS' ("The New Joy of Gay Sex") in which Elijah discovered that Sean was secretly reading the book, and used that knowledge to guide Sean into some fairly interesting sexual adventures. At that time she challenged me to come up with my own story using the 'NJOGS' premis. This story is my response to that challenge.

Elijah studied the book with rapt concentration. His last experiment with sexual ideas taken from 'The New Joy of Gay Sex' had been, to Elijah's way of thinking, a roaring success. He was eager to move into new sexual territory with his sometimes-conservative, always-careful lover and using this book had proved to be an excellent means to that end.

He smiled at the memory of Sean with his arms and chest done up in the beautifully laced leather binding and closed his eyes to better remember the astounding lovemaking that had followed. 

He didn't know if Sean had made the connection between that amazing night and the book now held in his hands. Elijah had discovered it hidden away in one of Sean's drawers. He hadn't meant to pry. He'd been helping Pearl out by putting away some of Sean's underwear, and to Elijah's surprise, there it was.

He'd realized at once that, in his typically considerate way, Sean had been reading it so that he would know how best to please him. Sean's experience with gay sex was limited to what he'd shared with Elijah, and though Elijah was not all that experienced himself he also knew that Sean was already the most passionate and satisfying lover on Earth. The gesture, however, had touched Elijah to his soul.

But it had also given him a means to try a few things from the book that were new and exciting. He'd just mention them a few times, and Sean (in typical Sean fashion) would dash off to consult the manual. Or as Elijah liked to think of it... 'He'll bone up. Uh.. so to speak.'

Elijah figured enough time had passed that he could have another go at it, and he was pondering which technique he wanted them to try. 

"Let's see… " Elijah murmured, running his finger down the book's index, searching for a potentially exhilarating technique. "Tenderness. We already have that. Next. Hmmmm. Testicles." Elijah giggled. "Have those too." He dropped down to the next item. "Uh… Three-way…" Elijah's eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped. "I don't fucking think so!" His finger moved down one more entry. "Top-Position. What do they mean by…" Elijah scanned one of the pages listed under the index entry. "Ah!"

Elijah read for awhile, then put the book back in the drawer. He wandered downstairs and flopped onto one of their overstuffed leather chairs. After a moment he threw his leg over the arm and laid in it half-sideways, chewing a fingernail and thinking.

'Would Sean do that?' he wondered to himself. Penetrative sex between them had always had Sean in the 'top' position. He was used to this, of course, from years of heterosexual activity, and, for him, it was the most natural position for lovemaking. Elijah wondered how he'd feel about reversing their positions.

"Do I want to do it?" he questioned himself out loud. He thought a moment. "Well Sean sure likes it." 

In fact, Sean liked it enough that he worried about losing control during such moments. Sean was, to say the least, well-endowed. And though their lovemaking was ardent and almost unendurably passionate, in any area where Elijah stood a chance of hurt or harm, Sean kept a fairly tight handle on his emotions. 

He'd made clear to Elijah the kind of raw physical pleasure he felt when their bodies were joined. And though Sean never once mentioned it, Elijah knew there was another powerful force at work. An inner desire to possess that was somehow sated when they made penetrative love. 

Not that Sean ever acted in a possessive manner. Quite the contrary. He constantly encouraged Elijah to go out with his friends and have fun. He didn't want the commitment they'd both made to their relationship to deprive Elijah of the experiences that any 22 year old guy should be having with his buddies. Sean had been married too young to experience that camaraderie himself, and this lack was something he regretted. He didn't want Elijah to have that same regret, so the boundaries of their relationship were delineated by Sean’s tender respect for Elijah’s freedom.

The need to possess Elijah to overpower and own him, was an awareness that was limited to their bedroom and their lovemaking. It was not ever a topic for discussion between them. Sean would have died of embarrassment had Elijah so much as hinted at such a thing. But Elijah felt it. He always felt it. And it was compelling.

He thought about the times, in the midst of passion, with his lover buried deep inside his body, when he’d heard Sean’s voice grind hoarsely into his ear: “Mine! Mine!” He thought about how that dark need to have power over Elijah... to master him... ignited their lovemaking, imbuing it with a ferocity that both frightened and beguiled him.

Elijah bounced his leg on the arm of the chair and switched from chewing his fingernail to chewing the inside of his lower lip. The more he pondered it, the more he wanted the experience. The feeling of being inside his lover’s body, of being joined to him. The raw physical pleasure it promised. The deeper emotional rewards that he could only imagine. Elijah wanted it all.

But how to convince Sean? Elijah felt fairly sure that being on the receiving end of an anal sexual experience was not high on Sean’s list of things he’d love to do. This would take some thought.

He heard the door open and wheeled in the chair to see Sean standing on their landing "Hey!" Elijah said. He jumped out of the chair and ran to him. "Glad you're home."

Sean tilted forward just a little, then quite a lot. His hands came down hard on Elijah's shoulders as he stood a step below Sean. His body kept leaning until he was tilted down with his forehead practically touching Elijah's. "I," he said in a low voice, "have had the day from hell."

Elijah laughed and reached up to grasp Sean's wrists. "You have?" He stepped backward, forcing Sean to walk down the two steps to their living room. "Well, what can I do to make it better?"

Sean looked straight into his eyes for a long, silent moment, his arms winding slowly around Elijah's waist. Then he pulled Elijah close, and buried his face against the curve of Elijah's neck. He felt Elijah's hands moving through his hair and his arms tightened and locked, pressing Elijah's body hard against his. For a quiet moment or two, Sean held him close and breathed in his scent. "This," he whispered. "You can do this."

Elijah took a deep breath. "Happy to oblige," he murmured against Sean's cheek. He rubbed the tensed-up shoulder blades beneath his fingers and kissed the rough five-o-clock shadow that scraped against his lips. "What happened today?"

He felt Sean's head shake and at the same time some of the stored-up tension seemed to melt beneath Elijah's fingers. "Let's sit," Sean said quietly, easing back from their embrace and taking Elijah's hand in his.

They walked to their overstuffed sofa and Sean collapsed into its embrace as if exhausted. Elijah looked down at him for a moment, his face screwed into a look of perplexed contemplation. "You sit right here," he said finally. "I'll be right back." He walked into their kitchen and grabbed a wineglass from the cupboard. Sean looked beat. Further, and even more worrisome, he looked unhappy. 

Elijah poured a glass of white wine and carried it to Sean. "Here," he said softly, offering the glass. "Might this help a bit?"

Sean smiled at him and nodded. He took the glass without speaking and lifted it to his lips. His other hand reached for Elijah's and pulled him down so that they were sitting side by side. Elijah picked up a remote control from the table next to him and pushed a button. The strains of Enya's haunting 'Book of Days' filled the room, and Elijah heard Sean sigh deeply.

"Sean?" Elijah asked, still worried. "Do you want some other music?"

Sean turned to him and slowly ran his index finger down the curve of Elijah's cheek. "No," he replied quietly. “This is fine. In fact, it's perfect." He gestured to the music with his wineglass. "Hear that?"

The song was now presented in a language Elijah had never heard before. "I don't know what they’re saying," he told Sean. “What language is that?”

"Celtic," Sean said softly, still tracing the curves and arcs of Elijah's face with his index finger. She's saying: 

“From day to day, my journey,  
The long pilgrimage before me.  
From night to night, my journey,  
The stories that will never be again."

Elijah saw his lip tremble. "What happened today?" Elijah asked more firmly.

Sean drank more of his wine. His hand dropped from Elijah's face. "Stopped by the house to see the girls for a few minutes." He was looking straight ahead into the unlit fireplace. "Ally wanted me to stay." He sighed and sipped his wine again. Elijah lowered his head, afraid of what was coming next. "When I said I couldn't stay, she was… upset." As he spoke the last word, Elijah saw his mouth twist again. His sadness was palpable and Elijah felt his own eyes smart with unshed tears.

"God, Sean, I'm sorry," Elijah murmured, reaching to stroke his hair. "Go back! Spend the night there if Chris doesn't mind. I surely won't begrudge it, baby."

Sean shook his head and sat the empty glass down. "No," he whispered. "No."

"Why not?" Elijah whispered urgently. "I tell you I won't mind."

"But I will!" Sean told him tightly. "This is my home. You're the one I want to be with." He sighed again. "Hell, Lij, I didn't even WANT to stay! I was dying to get home here to you."

They looked into each other's eyes for a moment. Then Sean's dropped. "It's just hard to hear her ask why I can't stay with her, that's all." 

Elijah nodded. His fingers flew to Sean's temples and rubbed soft circles there. "Bed," he whispered. "You need bed, and quiet, and some nice Elijah Wood TLC."

Sean's arm swept around Elijah's waist. He stood up, tightening his arm to bring Elijah to his feet at the same time. "That is exactly what I need," he murmured. "Come on."

As they wandered up the stairs leaning on each other, Elijah decided tonight was not the night to introduce the subject of new sexual positions. He shoved Sean toward the shower and turned down their bed, smiling when he heard the water start.

He was out of his clothes and walking into the bathroom in seconds. Sean's naked body was dimly visible through the steam covered shower door, and Elijah's breath caught as he pushed the door open. "Got room for one more in here?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

"Always, Doodle," Sean said quietly, reaching to grasp his arm, balancing him as he entered the shower. Elijah moved behind Sean, grabbed a sponge, and lathered his back. Then he dropped the sponge, and began to massage Sean's back, shoulders, and neck. Using the soap and water like oil, he tried to knead some of the weariness and stress out of Sean's muscles. His small fingers were surprisingly strong and he heard Sean grunt in appreciation.

After only a moment or two of Elijah’s attentions, Sean wheeled and caught him close in his arms. "Enough," he growled through clenched teeth, and the passion in his voice weakened Elijah's knees. His naked, water-slicked body slid over Sean's like a caressing hand, and when Sean's mouth came down hard on his, he moaned with need.

Sean's arm was around Elijah's waist, pulling him closer. His other hand dropped between them and grasped both their erections. One step forward, and Elijah's back was pressed against the shower wall while Sean's hand slowly stroked them both. He wound one leg around Sean's body, using it to pull them even closer together.

"Sean, Sean," Elijah moaned. He threw his head back and felt it hit the shower wall hard. His body throbbed in time with the movement of Sean's hand, and, whimpering, he surrendered to the hunger. Sean's mouth fastened on Elijah's throat, drinking the water that flowed down that long, graceful flow of skin. Elijah had never heard Sean make sounds like this before. Low, guttural cries poured from his throat, growing louder as the motions of his hand grew faster.

"Oh. Lij. God…" Sean's head fell forward, his forehead pressing against Elijah's shoulder. He cried out as his body stiffened, feeling the release rock him hard. His hand still stroked their cocks even as his body shook with the force of his climax. "Elijah… " he choked. "Baby…"

Elijah's fingers dug into Sean's back. He felt pleasure shake him, melt him into nothing as he came, flowing over Sean's hand and washing away quickly in the warm water cascading off his lover's broad shoulders. 

They stood together, shaking, for a moment, then Sean lifted his head and stepped backward, dragging Elijah away from the wall and more directly under the water. He kissed Elijah's high forehead and held him tight while the water poured over both of them.

"Hey," Sean murmured finally. "You clean, Elwood?"

Elijah giggled against his chest. "Some say I am… some say I ain't," he teased. His body suddenly shook, as if chilled. "Let's get out, Sean."

Sean turned and shoved the shower door open. He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, walking to a cupboard to grab them each a towel. He tossed Elijah's toward him. "Catch." Elijah grabbed it in mid-stride, headed toward the bedroom, still damp and starting to shiver. "Cold," he told Sean as he quickly dried off and dived under the covers. 

Sean walked to the side of the bed and eyed him for a moment, chewing his lip. "You want a pair of my sweats?" he asked, leaning down to snug the comforter around Elijah.

"No! Screw the sweats. Just get in here."

Grinning, Sean climbed into bed and pulled Elijah close. "Your skin even feels chilly," he muttered, rubbing Elijah's arms. "You want me to hit the heat for a minute, Lij?" 

Elijah shook his head and snuggled against Sean's chest. "This is all the heat I need," he murmured. 

They were contentedly silent for a moment. Then Elijah raised his head. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

Sean stroked his chin in thought then took a quick breath. "No. No, I don't think so. Question? No. Uh. Sorry, but uh… " he shook his head, nose wrinkled in distaste.

Giggling, Elijah's nimble fingers dove to a particularly sensitive 'tickle-spot' just beneath Sean's ribs and in seconds Sean was yelping apologies and begging for mercy. "Aaaaahhhhh!" Sean howled, still laughing. "Stop! Lijah! Ask. Ask the question!" 

He grabbed Elijah's wrists and held him motionless. Elijah looked at him, his mouth twisting as he tried to put words around the thoughts in his mind. "Sean, do you think I'm… uh.. fem?"

"Fem?" Sean repeated, as though he'd never heard the word before. "Fem, as in 'feminine'?" he asked, his eyes going wide with surprise.

"Yeah," Elijah said quietly. "As in… that. Yeah. Do you?"

Sean sighed and released Elijah's wrists. "Well, I'll preface this by saying that there's nothing wrong with feminine qualities. I have them, and you do too. Everyone does." He glanced sideways and saw two very blue eyes starting to narrow dangerously. "But," Sean said quickly, holding up one finger, "I don't think that's what you're asking me, is it?"

Elijah simply stared at him. His brow was definitely beginning to furrow. 

"Right," Sean said quickly. "It's not. OK, then! My answer to your question would be… no. You're not feminine."

"No?" Elijah prodded. "You're sure?"

"Positive." Sean assured him. "You are well and truly masculine."

Elijah's head fell back to Sean's chest. He seemed to be pondering what Sean had said.

"Lij, why would you ask me such a thing?"

"Ohh, I was just thinking about stuff."

"What stuff? Stuff about you being feminine? There is no such stuff."

"Well, when we… you know, make love… like… that. I’m always kind-of in the…," he sighed and shook his head. "It's embarrassing to even talk about it."

"Lij, I still don't understand. You're always in the… what?"

Elijah muttered something under his breath.

"Baby," Sean pleaded. "Please. I can't hear you. What did you say?"

"I said," Elijah said loudly. Way more loudly than he intended. He quickly lowered his voice. "I said that I'm always in the feminine position."

Sean's eyes widened. "Oh!" he said softly, feeling rather stunned. "Uh.. well, it's not really the feminine position. It's just the… uh… bottom position."

"Well, whatever position it is… I'm always in it."

Sean leaned back and looked at him. "Well," he said slowly. "Uh.. you're… uh… right. I guess you are." He thought for a moment. "Jesus, Lij, was I remiss for not noticing this? For not suggesting we do things differently? I feel bad."

"No! Nooo," Elijah protested quickly. "It's just something I thought about. I came to no real conclusions about it. There's nothing I want to change. I asked the question more out of curiosity than anything."

"Well, you're not feminine!" Sean asserted. "Not even a little!"

Elijah smiled and nestled against Sean's chest. "OK, big guy. I believe you. Can we sleep now?"

Sean's mouth twisted in frustration. "Yeah, we can sleep. But we're not done talking about this… Gertrude."

"Sean!" Elijah spouted, not even trying to suppress his giggles.

Sean giggled too, then they both fell silent. "Hey, bud," Sean murmured against Elijah's hair. Elijah looked up into his eyes for a moment.

"Thank you. I feel a lot better."

____________________________________

Elijah had to leave before Sean the next morning and it was late when he got home. Sean was in the kitchen cooking some kind of wicked stir-fry and Elijah slowed down only long enough to grab at his ass and kiss his cheek before flying up to their bedroom to take a shower.

As he was pulling off his clothes, he glanced at the dresser drawer where 'The New Joy of Gay Sex' resided. He couldn't resist peeking in to see if there was any sign that the book had been pulled out since he put it away yesterday.

Sure enough. It was lying with its cover page face down, the exact opposite of the way Elijah had left it the day before. He smiled softly. "Good old consistent Sean," he whispered to himself. He shut the drawer softly and wandered into the bathroom.

As he showered, Elijah thought. He hadn't really meant to approach the subject the way he had, but at least it got things out into the open. He knew Sean well enough to know he was thinking about the things they'd talked about last night. He padded down the stairs in his bare feet, he wondered if Sean would bring it up. Elijah felt rather embarrassed and even a bit nervous about the entire situation.

He wandered into the kitchen and saw Sean dishing food onto two plates. "Hey, babe!" he called cheerfully. "Carry yours into the dining room for me would you? I'm gonna grab the wine."

Elijah grinned at him. "I'll carry yours in too! That's what a great guy I am." He picked up both plates and laughed as Sean clambered up onto one of their stools and leaned precariously over the breakfast bar to kiss him.

As they ate, Sean chatted about his day. He'd had the chance to talk to Ally at lunch, and he felt as though she understood the situation more completely now. He was still in tentative negotiations for a leading role in 'Ride The Laddie', a title that never failed to elicit an eruption of giggles from Elijah.

"Lij!" Sean said excitedly, grabbing his arm. "We'll be shooting in Scotland, babe. You must come with me!" 

Elijah laughed. "So you'll have your laddie to ride?" 

Sean's laughter slowly died and for a moment only Elijah's trademark giggle filled the now-silent room. 

"Sean?" Elijah asked quietly. "What's wrong?" Sean's head was down and he didn't answer. Elijah stood up and walked to him, kneeling beside his chair and reaching for his hand. "Babe?" He tugged on Sean's fingers and after a moment Sean turned to look at him and smile.

"I'm sorry, Lij," he said with a grimace. "It's just that when you said that, I thought about the things we talked about last night. I feel as though I've wronged you somehow, without meaning to."

Elijah looked at him with a quick flash of irritation. “Dammit, Sean!” he spouted, letting a bit of edge creep into his voice. “If I can’t talk to you about things on my mind without you getting all guilty and starting in with the self blame, I’ll keep quiet from now on.”

Sean’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak, then thought better of it and nodded slowly instead. “OK,” he murmured. “You’re right. That doesn’t exactly keep the communication lines open does it.” He grimaced again and smacked the heel of his hand against his forehead. "Duh!”

Elijah laughed. “Well, that’s not an option either,” he said, grabbing Sean’s hand, comically mugging his distaste. Sean giggled and pulled him forward into a quick kiss.

“Lets do the dishes,” Sean suggested, both hands on Elijah’s shoulders. “Then we’ll talk about all this. It needs talking about, don’t you think?”

Elijah nodded and stood. “Yeah. It does.” He grabbed Sean’s plate, then his own and walked into the kitchen backwards, still mugging at Sean who was bending to pick up silverware. “Elijah, be careful,” Sean cautioned. “You’ll… “

Elijah tripped. He bounced off a stool, half-tripped again, and reached to catch himself. He was successful, but his reach to save himself spun one of the plates out of his hand. It hit their terra-cotta flooring, bounced once, then shattered into a million pieces. Sean dashed into the room, fearing injury. His face was tense with alarm until he saw Elijah who stood silently, scowling at the broken plate as if it had somehow betrayed him.

Sean surveyed the damages with a grin and walked past a still glowering Elijah. “Well, that’s three out of eight, Frodo,” he giggled. “One more and you’ll have broken exactly half of our dishes.”

Elijah glanced his way and favored him with a taste of his glower. “You will kindly notice that I did not fall down.”

Sean nodded and kept on walking, lifting one hand in a 'thumbs up' sign. His shoulders were shaking with laughter as he leaned into the broom closet, and for a moment the sound of half choked off giggles was the only thing to emerge from the tiny space. Sean finally walked to Elijah struggling to keep a semi-straight face and silently held out the broom and dust-pan. 

Elijah stared at him as he reached to take them, his face defying Sean to laugh again. Sean leaned in and kissed him, then pressed his lips against Elijah’s ear. “Half,” he muttered, with a snicker.

Sean cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher while Elijah swept up the broken plate. Sean managed to keep from giggling as he watched his young lover clean up the mess, and after wiping the counter off, hopped up to sit on it.

"So, what d'you want to do tonight, ring boy?" Sean inquired. "Watch some TV? Play some PS2 maybe?"

Elijah shrugged as he walked over to the counter and leaned against Sean's knees. "Whatever you want is fine, Sean," he said quietly. Sean raised his eyebrows questioningly and Elijah glanced up at him, looking embarrassed. "Sorry, Seanie," he said quietly. "I snapped at you and nothing was your fault. Sorry about the plate too." He sighed and leaned in against Sean's body. "I just hate being such a klutz," he mumbled against Sean's shirt. 

"Awww, baby," Sean crooned. "You're just getting into character." Elijah grinned and Sean laughed out loud. "Besides," he muttered. "They were cheap plates. Break all you want." He pulled Elijah close and lowered his lips until they brushed Elijah's ear. "I do think though," he whispered. "That we should wait 'til our 25th anniversary before we buy the good bone china."

They both laughed and Sean pushed Elijah back gently so he could hop off the counter. As he bent to pick up a stray piece of broken plate that Elijah missed, he glanced up. "We were supposed to have a talk tonight weren't we, babe? About… things?"

Elijah shrugged. He was half tempted to forget the whole thing and go back to the book to look for something easier. Talking to Sean about this was going to be, and already had been, embarrassing for both of them. 'And,' Elijah thought, as he wandered into the living room. 'Every time I choke on it, he thinks he's done something wrong. Or not done something right.’

Sean had dropped, half sideways, onto the couch and as Elijah approached, Sean held out his arms. Elijah drifted into them happily, his back pressed against Sean, and Sean's arms tight around his body. He felt Sean's lips press against the top of his head and smiled. "We don't have to talk about it, Seanie," he murmured, snuggling. "I'm happy with the way things are. I was just curious to hear what you'd say."

"No, Doodle," Sean insisted. "Don't do that to me. I really want to talk about this."

Elijah sighed and sat up. He turned to face Sean and laid both his palms on the broad shoulders. "It was just an idle thought. I don't want you to read more into it than need be."

Sean shrugged. "Well we can at least discuss it, can't we?" His face was open… guileless… and Elijah felt his stomach curl with self disgust. Suddenly the whole idea seemed manipulative.

"Look, Sean," he said quietly. "I was reading that book you've got in your drawer upstairs." He glanced up at Sean to gauge his reaction. Sean merely nodded.

"You mean 'The New Joy of Gay Sex' book?"

Elijah nodded.

"OK," Sean said slowly, his voice quietly confused. "You can read it if you want to. I don't mind." He shrugged and caressed Elijah's cheekbones with his thumbs. "I don’t get it, Lij. What's the problem?"

"Well," Elijah stammered. "I was reading about.. you know.. about.. being.. " He cleared his throat and Sean bit back a smile.

"On top?" Sean enquired softly.

"Yeah," Elijah said, glancing up shyly. "About that."

Sean stared at Elijah for a long moment, then wrapped his arms around Elijah's body and pulled him close. Eyes closed, his lips caressed the familiar planes and arcs of Elijah's face, finally finding their way to his lips. Sean brushed their mouths together, exploring Elijah's upper lip then his lower, lazily using soft, soft kisses to explore the lips he adored. "Lijah, Lijah," he breathed, feeling as though he would drown in the love he felt for the intense young man in his arms. "I love you so much, baby."

Elijah felt his eyes burn and tried to shake it off. "God, Sean," he choked. "I love you too."

Sean stared into his eyes. "Do you want to try that, Lij? Being on top?" He leaned close to his lover and whispered into his ear. "Do you want to be inside me, baby? Is that what you've been thinking about?"

Elijah gasped and his arms tightened around Sean's neck. The feeling of their bodies pressed close and the words that Sean was murmuring into his ear took his breath. He leaned back to look into Sean's hazel eyes. "We were both so scared when we made love that way for the first time. Remember?"

Sean nodded. "I'd have a hard time forgetting. It was our first night here."

"I'm that scared again," Elijah told him quietly.

Sean nodded. "I know."

Elijah's face fell to Sean's shoulder and rested there. He felt Sean's arms tighten and nestled closer, savoring the strength of his embrace, the protection it always seemed to offer. He leaned back and his eyes sought Sean’s.

“Do you want to try it that way, Sean?”

Silence. Then Sean sputtered. “I… well, uh… I…”

“Say ‘no’ if you don’t want to do it,” Elijah encouraged. “Don’t pretend because you think it’ll please me. I want the truth.”

Sean sighed and kissed Elijah’s forehead. When he spoke, his voice was low and reassuring. “It’s just not something I ever thought about, Lij. So, yeah. I’m a little taken aback. But I’m not put off by it. Nothing we do in bed together, in love, could be anything except wonderful.”

Elijah took Sean’s face in his two hands. He leaned forward until their mouths were pressed together lightly, then whispered, letting Sean feel the words he was saying as well as hear them. “Let’s go to bed.”

Sean’s eyes closed, and Elijah felt his body tremble slightly. Then the hazel eyes met his and Sean nodded. “Let’s go, Elwood.”

Sean stood up, pulling Elijah with him, and together they walked up the stairs to their room. Sean immediately disappeared into the bathroom, and Elijah had to grin. He knew Sean was nervous about this and he wondered what kind of pep talk he was giving himself. Elijah gnawed his lower lip, feeling a bit nervous himself. He grabbed the lube out of the drawer and placed it on the table next to their bed, within easy reach, then perched on a chest next to the window.

Sean came out of the bathroom, pulling his T-shirt over his head as he walked. He’d already ditched his jeans, and by the time he got to the bed he was clad only in boxers. He threw his T-shirt toward the bathroom and turned to toss a half-amused, half-perplexed look at Elijah. “Why do I feel like a virgin bride on her wedding night?”

Elijah burst into giggles. “Because that's what you are?” he offered helpfully.

“Oh, gee, thanks,” Sean said dryly. He stripped off his boxers, shoved the covers back and sprawled on his back, still throwing darting glances at Elijah, who hadn’t moved and was still fully clothed. Sean’s looked toward the table and spotted the lube. His eyes got wider and he turned to Elijah. “Don’t you think you’d better get undressed?” he asked, pointing at the lube. “Kinda hard to use that stuff when you’re fully clothed.”

“Not sure, yet, that I’m going to use it,” Elijah replied, grabbing the hem of his T-shirt and starting to pull it over his head.

Sean’s eyes widened even further. “You’re WHAT?” he squawked.

When Elijah's shirt slid over the top of his head, it revealed a face that was grinning from ear to ear. "I didn't mean it like that!" he protested, giggling. "Jeez, Sean." He meandered toward the bed, rubbing his chest with one hand and fingering the snap on his jeans with the other.

The sight of him took Sean's breath and dried his tongue. Elijah, without any conscious effort whatsoever, presented an image of raw, blatant sensuality. Sean's yearning gnawed at him, a bottomless void. A space that could never be fully filled.

Elijah stripped off his jeans and sat on the edge of the bed. He glanced up at Sean and held out a trembling hand. Sean took it unhesitatingly. "What's wrong, Doodle?" he whispered.

"I don't know if I want to do this, Sean," Elijah whispered back. "That's what I meant about the lube. We have the most perfect love life I could ever imagine. Why mess with a good thing?" 

Sean was silent for a moment. He was hesitant about this himself. But he knew the kind of pleasure he had experienced when he merged his body with Elijah's. He wanted the one he loved to feel the same kind of joy.

He toyed with Elijah's fingers and looked into his eyes. "Elijah, maybe this won't be messing with a good thing. Maybe I'll be making a good thing even better." He raised his eyebrows at Elijah. "Huh? Think?"

Elijah stared hard into Sean's eyes, his own eyes narrow with doubt. His mouth tightened. "Sean," he said hesitantly. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Sean looked down for a moment, then back into Elijah's eyes. "I'm sure I love you." Elijah started to speak, but Sean stopped him with a kiss. "No. Wait, Lij. I'm nervous about it. I won't lie. But I do want to do this with you. Yes."

Elijah's mouth was still tight with uncertainty, and Sean could see that talking about it wasn't helping. He grasped Elijah's arms and pulled him forward until he was lying on top of Sean's body. Their mouths met and lingeringly kissed.

Sean immediately forgot the tension of their discussion as he lost himself in the wonder of Elijah's lips and body. His hands moved slowly down Elijah's back, trembling as the creamy ivory of his skin flowed beneath Sean's fingers. Hot aching desire filled him. Desire as familiar as the contours of the body that pressed hard against his own. He moaned and wrapped a leg around Elijah to press him closer. Even an atom of space between them was too much.

His fingers stopped momentarily as they encountered the waistband of Elijah's briefs, then slid underneath. Elijah's open mouth was moving over his and Sean heard and felt him whimper as his fingers inched lower, caressing Elijah's rounded bottom, a finger moving to softly caress the cleft.

Elijah's lips moved softly over Sean's, inhaling his breath, tongues caressing almost lazily. He felt Sean's hand creep under his briefs and whimpered. "Off," he whispered into Sean's ear. "Take them off me." He whimpered again as Sean's finger teased the sensitive cleft. "Oh my god," he gasped. "Sean, please."

Sean reluctantly left off stroking Elijah's skin long enough to hook his thumbs over the waistband and tug down. "Lift up, baby," he whispered.

Elijah obliged, and Sean lowered the briefs far enough for Elijah to kick them off. Totally naked now, Elijah smiled down on his lover and lowered his body until they were once again pressed hard against each other. He saw Sean's eyes slowly close and heard him gasp as skin moved against skin. Sean's head tipped back as his body rose, seeking, needing to be nearer.

"Lijah," he whimpered. "Elijah. Ohgod, closer. Closer." Sean's legs and arms wrapped tight around Elijah's body and captured him. Elijah's hands were clenched in Sean's hair. His mouth fastened on Sean's throat then moved to his lips.

For long minutes they kissed hungrily, their bodies writhing against each other, the urgent need to be closer consuming them. Elijah felt Sean's hand leave his back where his fingers had been digging into Elijah's shoulder and lifted his head. He saw Sean reaching to the side and immediately knew what he was after.

"Sean," Elijah moaned. "Seanie, we don't have to." His lips trailed down Sean's chest, kissing, licking. He found a dark nipple buried in soft, soft fur and focused tongue and lips there until he heard Sean moaning almost pitifully.

Sean's hand nudged his head, and when Elijah turned to look he saw the lube in Sean's hand. Held out to him. Waiting for him to take it. "Yes," Sean whispered. "Elijah. My love. Yes."

Elijah swallowed hard and took the lube from Sean's hand. He looked up into the hazel eyes and saw the warmth of complete trust shining back at him. A slight smile touched Sean's face. "Let's see if we can improve on perfection, my love," he whispered, nudging Elijah's hand with the bottle.

Elijah took it, his eyes never leaving Sean's, and had just twisted the cap open when he heard Sean's voice.

"Wait." Sean smiled again and reached to take the bottle from him. "Let me," he murmured. 

Elijah eased back, both hands on Sean's shoulders, and watched as Sean applied the lube first to himself, and then to Elijah's throbbing erection. As he stroked Elijah with lube-slicked fingers he looked up and their eyes locked. Sean gasped. "Hard," he moaned hoarsely. "Oh god, Elijah. So hard. I love it when you're this hard. Oh Jesus… ohgod.. I love it!"

Elijah whimpered, his fingers digging into Sean's shoulders. "Seanie," he moaned, struggling to control his need. "Seanie?" Sean looked up, his eyes half dazed. "Fingers first?" Elijah asked nervously. "Sean? Should I…"

Sean's hands moved quickly to either side of Elijah's face. He jerked Elijah forward and kissed him savagely, crushing their mouths together. His tongue sought Elijah's, their teeth clicking from the force of his kiss. Elijah cried out and fell forward on top of Sean engulfed in a passion like none other he'd ever known.

Sean's hands clawed at his hair . "Elijah," he gasped. "Please. Jesus. Ohgod. Just do it."

Elijah was trembling all over. He dropped his hand and guided his aching cock to Sean's body. Whimpering, he eased himself just barely inside. He heard Sean gasp and looked up quickly. Sean's hands were still clenched in his hair. His head was thrown back and he was moaning.

For a moment Elijah was afraid that he was hurting his lover, but Sean's hips lifted higher, opening himself, and his hands tugged at Elijah's hair, urging him forward. Elijah moaned and guided himself slowly, inch by incredible inch, inside Sean's body. 

As Sean's flesh closed tightly around him, he was seized by a rush of sensation so intense that it took his breath. He captured Sean's hands and laced their fingers together. As he leaned forward, their intertwined fingers rested on either side of Sean's face. 

He pressed his sweat-drenched forehead against Sean's and covered Sean's mouth with his own. Not kissing. Not pressing. His mouth simply rested against Sean's, open and hungry, inhaling his breath. He could feel Sean's breath against his lips. Breathless urgent gasps, each one ending in a whimpering cry that heightened the intensity of Elijah's desire a hundred fold.

"We're one," he whispered into Sean's mouth. "One soul." He heard Sean's breath catch in a sob and felt him nod slowly. His hips rocked, thrusting slowly into Sean who rose against his touch. Their bodies quickly found a sensual rhythm. Slow. Provocative. Elijah lifted his head and stared down into Sean's eyes. There was no pain there. No fear. Only love and perfect trust. He pressed deep, filling Sean, watching Sean's eyes deepen into emerald fire, hearing him gasp and cry out.

"I love you," Elijah whispered. "I love you more than my life." Then his eyes closed and he thrust harder, faster, abandoned himself to pleasure. He pulled his hand away from Sean's and grasped Sean's engorged cock, pumping it in perfect time with the movement of his body. 

Sean's eyes were closed. His hands were clawing at the sweat soaked sheets beneath his body. He reached up blindly and touched Elijah's face. "Ohgod," he grated hoarsely. "Jesus. So close. Elijah. Elijah. Elijah." He cried out in blissful agony as he came, spilling himself into Elijah's hand, feeling pulsating waves of pleasure rock his body.

Elijah climaxed seconds later in a frenzied explosion of exquisite sensation. He poured himself into Sean, dropping forward to press his face against Sean's throat, crying his name.

For long moments they both dug trembling fingers into each other's backs and arms as tremors of ecstasy continued to wrack their bodies. Gradually, they began to breathe normally. Their pulses throbbed at a less furious rate.

Finally Elijah sighed and eased himself out of his lover's body, rolling to his side and then to his back.

"My god!" he moaned at their skylight. "That was incredible." He turned back to his side quickly and touched Sean's face, turning it toward him. "Are you OK? Did I hurt you?"

Sean smiled at him and turned his face to kiss the fingers that trembled on his cheek. "I'm fine. And no, you didn't hurt me." As if to give the lie to his statement, he winced, and Elijah was instantly contrite.

"Oh god, Sean. I did hurt you!"

"No!" Sean insisted. "You did not!" He gazed into Elijah's concerned face. "Baby, you know I'm going to be a little sore. I've never done this before." Elijah still looked skeptical, but he nodded. "But hurt me?" Sean asked dubiously. "No. You did not hurt me in the slightest."

"Did you like it?" Elijah asked him quietly, lifting a corner of the sheet to pat Sean sweat-drenched face. 

Sean smiled and pulled him down into a kiss before answering "Yes. I did." He was silent for a moment, looking down at the bed. Then he lifted his head. "Truthfully, there are other ways I like better. But I liked this too."

"It's funny," Elijah said quietly. "You've hinted before that you feel a sense of possession when we make love that way." Sean blushed and nodded, obviously embarrassed. 

"No, Sean. Don't be embarrassed," Elijah begged. "Please. I need to talk with you about this."

"OK, baby," Sean soothed, stroking his arm. "Talk. I don't promise not to be embarrassed. But I do promise to listen and respond honestly."

"I didn't feel that," Elijah exclaimed. "I thought I would. But I didn’t."

"What did you feel?" Sean asked quietly.

"I felt just what I told you I felt," Elijah whispered. "That we were one. One soul."

Sean nodded slowly. "I feel that too," he assured Elijah. He was silent for a moment, then looked into Elijah's eyes. "I don't know for sure, love. But I'd say that we both probably got what we needed to get from it." 

Elijah continued to stare, silently into Sean's eyes. Sean bit his lip a bit, still embarrassed but determined to speak. "I think," he said slowly. "That when I feel that sense of possession.. it's that I feel as though I’m finally… " He stopped and looked down.

"Finally what, Sean?" Elijah urged.

"Finally healing a part of myself. Some part of me that was buried when I was a kid. A part that never had a chance to really develop because no one protected it."

Elijah reached to touch his cheek. "What is it, Sean?" he asked quietly. “Do you know?”

Sean shrugged. "Hard to put into words." He smiled at Elijah. "You're so assured, Lij. So fearless and centered. I was never able to be like that. I was scared of everything.” He shook his head. “Hell, Lij, I can't be like that now. I can act like that. But to truly be like that… is different." He was silent for a moment, looking down. 

His head lifted, and he gazed at Elijah’s body in silence. He ran the back of his hand slowly down Elijah's body, over his chest and belly, grazing his softening phallus gently before moving down his leg. "I need to feel that sense of possession," he said quietly. “I need to know you’re mine. Then I know you’re safe. Then I know nothing can harm you. I can protect all those qualities in you that were never protected for me.”

He glided his hand back up, stroking Elijah's body adoringly, claiming it. His eyes searched Elijah's, hoping he'd understand. When he spoke, his voice was remote, as though he spoke from a distance. “When you’re safe, somehow that little boy in me is safe too.” He dropped his eyes again and lifted Elijah’s hand to his lips. "I need it," he repeated softly against Elijah’s fingers. "I need you." 

Elijah’s eyes stung with tears. He nodded, swallowing hard, and leaned forward to embrace Sean. “I need you too. And you must know, Sean. If I am all those things you speak of, it’s because I know you’re there to protect me.”

“You’ll always have that, Lij,” Sean murmured against his cheek. “That never goes away. That’s eternal.” His hands moved slowly over Elijah’s back. 

"I know," Elijah whispered. "And I'm so fucking grateful. Feeling you claim me as yours, hearing it, believing it… leaves me feeling more than just satisfied. It leaves me feeling secure and sheltered in a way I’ve never felt before."

They smiled at each other, and Elijah turned to reach under their bedside table for a towel. He wiped himself, and then sponged the evidence of their love-making from Sean's body. As he tossed the towel toward the bathroom door, he reached to grab their comforter and pulled it until it covered them both.

Sean was on his side, leaning on his elbow, watching Elijah. As the comforter settled over their bodies he reached for his young lover and pulled him close, pressing their naked bodies tight together. 

Elijah snuggled against him, his head resting on Sean's chest, one hand fisted over Sean's heart where he could feel the steady cadence of his heartbeat. He felt Sean's lips press a gentle kiss to the top of his head, and Sean's arms around him were strong and secure.

"Oh, Jesus, Sean," Elijah said in a low voice. "This is better than any sex."

He felt Sean's head nod. "Don't know if you'll find it in the book," he murmured quietly. "But this is the real joy. This is the true bliss."

"We have to write our own book," Elijah murmured in a sleepy voice. "The TRUE Joy of Gay Sex."

Sean chuckled and nestled him closer. "But not tonight, my love."

Elijah shook his head and kissed Sean's chest. "No," he murmured in an even more sleepy voice. "Not tonight."

"And you know what I think?" Sean said, suppressing a yawn. "I think from now on we should read NJOGS together. What do you think?"

Elijah didn't answer. Elijah didn't even hear him.


End file.
